Rules of conduct when eating. How to behave at a table in a formal setting

Dining etiquette is not limited to just food rules. This concept includes the ability to make a favorable impression on others, the manner of communication, and much more. By these criteria you can always distinguish a well-mannered person. Few people know all the intricacies of table etiquette, but there is nothing to be ashamed of. There are many manuals and articles devoted to etiquette. And it's never too late to learn.

Basic table manners

The rules of human behavior at the table can be called a whole science; they have been developed over years, even centuries, and are based on common sense, hygiene, attitude towards people who share a meal with you, etc. This section of etiquette is perhaps the most important, because Without good table manners it is impossible to succeed in life. Table etiquette is studied in modern business schools and colleges, where future businessmen are trained.

Now we will look at the basic rules of behavior at the table. A man should not sit down at the table until the women sit down or one of the hosts offers to take a seat. As a rule, the man escorts the woman to the table and offers her a seat to his right. And only after that can he sit down himself. He should pay his main attention to the woman sitting on his right, but if a woman is also sitting to his left, then she should not be deprived of his attention. In general, according to the rules, a man must be equally attentive at the table, both to women he knows and to those he does not know.

So, the guests are at the table. But you shouldn’t start eating until everyone has filled their plates. This applies to the first course. When submitting the next one, you do not need to wait until it is offered to everyone. Ladies sitting at the table should be served first. The lady sitting to your right should pour the wine with her left hand. When do they open new bottle, the man should pour some wine into his glass, and then the lady.

It is completely unacceptable to place your elbows on the table, because... You can push your neighbor or his appliance. Elbows, if possible, should be kept close to the body. Only hands can be on the table. You also need to remember about posture. You should not lean over the plate. If the desired dish or object is far from you, you cannot reach for it, dipping parts of your clothing into other people's plates. You need to politely ask them to be handed over to you.

When lunch has come to an end, the fork and knife should be placed on the plate parallel to each other, in such a way that if you imagine the plate as a clock dial, and the cutlery as hands, then they should show the time “ten to four.” In decent establishments, this serves as a signal to the waiter that you have already finished your meal. But he should not put the cutlery away until everyone has finished eating. If you finish eating before the others, then in the remaining time you do not need to move the plate away from you, put them one on top of the other, you can continue the conversation, drink coffee or tea. By the way, about tea. Do not leave a teaspoon in a glass or cup. After you have stirred your tea or coffee, you should put it on a saucer. In no case is it recommended to urge your dining companions on with words or gestures. In turn, if you are used to eating slowly, then at a business lunch it would be better not to finish eating than to force everyone to wait for you.

The rules strictly prohibit making comments regarding the dishes served or criticizing their execution. When the women rise from the table, the man must also rise and stand until they leave the dining room. Then you can sit down.

Another very important rule. Basically, when serving, food is served on the table in common dishes: salad bowls, dishes, plates, which are designed for several people. Food from such dishes must be taken carefully, using special utensils that lie next to it (various forks, spatulas, tongs, spoons). You must try not to drop anything on the table or touch your plate with these utensils. There is no need to pile mountains of food on your plate, it looks ugly. After all, you can always add more of the dish you like. Smearing and kneading food on your plate also looks unaesthetic. This can make others at the table feel disgusted.

Rules of communication at the table

First of all, you need to remember that you shouldn’t talk about business at the table. The conversation should be pleasant and general. If the number of participants is small, then general topics for conversation are chosen; if there are more than thirty guests, then, as a rule, those sitting next to each other talk with each other. The feast lasts on average about two hours, and after it you can talk about business.

There are certain taboos on topics of table conversation. Namely: health (your own or someone else’s), income, family problems, work conflicts. Also, you should not pronounce too long monologues, or be interested in the age and social status of your interlocutors. It is recommended to talk about culture and art, but avoid going deep into the topics to avoid the possibility of an argument or conflict.

It is not permissible to conduct conversations over the heads of those sitting next to you. If you want to say something to a person sitting across from you, you can do this by leaning back, behind your neighbor’s back. When talking to the person sitting on your right, you should not completely turn your back to the person sitting to your left. The ability to listen to your interlocutor is also an important condition for good manners. You cannot interrupt the speaker, you must look at him with attention, showing your interest in the topic of conversation with your whole appearance.

And one last thing. Never talk while food is in your mouth, and also, do not lounge imposingly on a chair.

Serving items.

For a person accustomed to making do with a minimum amount of cutlery, it is sometimes not an easy task to understand the purpose of numerous shiny knives and forks laid out on festive table at his plate.

In fact, everything is not so difficult. We must remember that all devices are divided into main and auxiliary. The main ones are those that are used to eat, and the auxiliary ones are intended for cutting something, putting it on, etc. And one more thing. All cutlery is placed from your plate in the same order in which the dishes are served: soup, meat, fish, dessert. Thus, you should use the device that is furthest from the plate first.

Despite the apparent variety of serving, each item has its own purpose. At the beginning of lunch, there is a snack plate in front of you (sometimes a small dinner plate with a snack plate on it). On the left side of it there may be a paper napkin or a pie plate. Knives are laid out to the right of the plate, forks are laid out on the left side. Dessert cutlery is placed in front of the plate. Behind them are glasses, glasses, wine glasses. There is a napkin on the snack plate in front of you. If lunch involves no first course, a spoon is not included.

It would be correct to hold with your right hand all the devices that are on the right, respectively, with your left – those on the left. Dessert cutlery is taken with the hand towards which the handle of the cutlery is located.

The knife should be held correctly so that the middle and thumb hold it by the sides of the beginning of the handle, the end of the handle rests against the palm, the index finger should be kept on the upper surface of the handle so that it can be used to press the knife down when you need to cut something off. The remaining fingers should be kept slightly bent. Food is cut towards you. But there should not be too many pieces and they should be small in size so that they fit in the mouth.

The fork is taken in the left hand so that the end of the handle rests against the palm, and the fork itself faces down with its tines. Otherwise, it is held in the same way as a knife, only with the left hand. If there are side dishes on the table such as mashed potatoes or porridge, the fork is used as a spoon, i.e. turn over with the tines up, the fork handle should lie on the middle finger, and the index and thumb should hold the fork on their sides. In these cases, food is taken on a fork, helping with the tip of a knife blade.

The spoon should be held in the right hand. The end of the spoon handle should rest on the index finger, and the beginning on the middle finger. If the dish consists of pieces that can be separated without a knife, then only a fork is served and it must be held in the right hand.

The knife and fork are held in the hands throughout the entire dinner - this classic way. There is also an American style of eating that allows you to use these items interchangeably. That is, after cutting the dish, you can take the fork in your right hand and eat with it. While waiting for a change of dishes, the knife and fork should be placed crosswise on the plate. In this case, the handle of the knife should point to the right, and the tines of the fork should be turned down.

How to use a napkin correctly.

According to modern etiquette rules, a napkin should be placed on your lap so as not to stain your clothes if food accidentally gets on it. Sitting down at the table, you need to unfold the napkin, fold it in half and place it on your lap. If you get your fingers dirty while eating, you can wipe them with the top half of the napkin, leaving it on your lap. To blot your lips, you need to take a napkin from your knees into your palm so that the ends turn over in your palms and the napkin becomes shorter, then apply its middle to your lips. Afterwards, the napkin should be placed to the right of the plate. Under no circumstances should it be hung on the back of a chair or placed on a seat.

Also, read on the website:

self care

She grew up in her father's house, but at heart she grew up as a homeless child. I don't know how to take care of myself. In a kind and important way. I don't know how. My sister was always able to acquire all sorts of benefits - in clothes, shoes, in affection, attention...

1. You must sit at the table with clean hands. If you are visiting, ask the owner of the house to use their facilities for this purpose.

2. It is necessary to sit at the table at a comfortable distance from each other. Not too close, and not too far.

3. Watch your seat at the table. The back should be straight, elbows should not lean on the table. The arms should be pressed to the body, and only the hands should be on the tablecloth.

4. Don't stretch your legs under the table.

5. The napkin should be placed on your lap and brought to your mouth when the need arises. Do not tie a napkin around your neck or tuck it into your shirt collar like a bib.

6. Before you start eating, you must wait until all the guests have food and the hosts of the house start eating first. However, if there is a risk that the food served may get cold, the hosts may invite everyone who has already been served to start eating.

7. Never touch food with your hands, with the exception of bread and breadsticks, which, in any case, must first be broken off from the whole piece and then put in the mouth.

8. The bread you use for food should be on a small plate on the left in front of the main dish.

9. Do not make noise while eating or drinking.

10. Don't talk on the phone if there are other people at the table besides you.

11. Don't take photos while eating.

12. Keep your phone in your pocket or bag, not on your desk.

13. Don't clean your plate with bread.

14. Chew food with your mouth closed.

15. Do not blow on food to cool it.

16. Don't talk while eating.

17. Drink the drink only after swallowing food.

18. When eating, bring the fork or spoon to your mouth, and not vice versa. Never tilt your head towards the cutlery, or even worse towards the plate.

19. In order to finish the soup from the bottom of the plate, you need to tilt it towards the center of the table.

20. Use a knife only for cutting food, not for eating with it.

21. To eat, hold a fork between the thumb and index finger of your right hand.

If a fork and knife are used in conjunction with food that requires cutting, the fork should be held in the left hand and the knife in the right. After cutting food, the utensils do not change places in the hands, that is, the fork with which you will put food in your mouth remains in your left hand, and the knife in your right.

22. The spoon should be held between the thumb and forefinger of the right hand and should be half filled when eating. It is not allowed to use a spoon and fork when eating spaghetti.

23. You need to learn how to eat spaghetti by twisting it on a fork. Do not suck them into your mouth directly from the plate.

24. In order to make it clear that you have finished eating the dish, you need to place the fork and knife parallel on the plate.

25. If you need to serve yourself food that is on the table far from you, then you do not need to reach for it. Ask one of your neighbors to give you this dish of food.

26. If you eat a dish that requires cutting, you must cut off pieces as you eat them. It is not allowed to first cut the entire portion into pieces and only then eat it.

27. In order to serve yourself food from a common dish located in the center of the table, you must use the cutlery that is on this dish; you are not allowed to use your own cutlery.

28. Do not serve yourself more food from a common dish than you can eat, so that after finishing the meal you will have nothing left on your plate.

29. Toothpicks should not be used in public.

30. If you need to pour water or wine into a glass, offer to pour it to your neighbors first.

31. If there is a toast, everyone must drink. If someone does not drink alcohol, all they need to do is raise the glass to their lips.

32. If a toast is made in honor of one of the guests, you must raise the glass to face level and extend your hand in the direction of the person in whose honor the toast is being made.

33. If you want to refuse a drink that is offered to you, just make a slight movement with your hand. There is no need to make any apologies about this.

33. Smoking is prohibited during meals or between courses. After meals, smoking is permitted only if there is consent from the hosts and all guests.

34. You should get up from the table only after eating, unless some other circumstances arise in which this must be done earlier.

All photos are from the Internet.

Etiquette lessons are useful at any age. Adults know the basic rules, but forget about the little things.

These little things reveal their lack of table education. Children do not have any knowledge of the rules of etiquette; skills should be instilled at an early age.

The sooner you accustom your child to generally accepted rules, the sooner he will master them. His behavior at guests and at school feasts will be impeccable. Do you want to be proud of your child?

Give him some home training in good manners. You will have a lot of fun and give your child knowledge. If he perceives everything as a prank, it’s okay. During the feast, he will remember your lessons.

Parents will also benefit, as they will be able to refresh their knowledge and acquire the skills of aesthetic behavior at the table: in a company, at a party, at a romantic dinner.

During the time of tsarist rule in Rus', it was customary to eat all dishes with a spoon. Everyone did this: from peasants to boyars and royalty. The fork was brought to us only at the beginning of the 17th century from Poland.

This instrument was not accepted by the superstitious Russian people for a long time. Many signs and beliefs were associated with her.

Today the table is set according to etiquette: a spoon, two forks and two knives. Other devices are added as needed. Learn the rules for using cutlery.

Rules for using cutlery:

Host a training dinner at home and let family members demonstrate skills. Memorize all 12 points of the table and rehearse.

Self-confidence requires acquiring skills. Everything should happen arbitrarily, spontaneously. This skill comes with experience.

Table etiquette for children and adults

For people of any age, there are approximately the same rules with minor differences. Remember them, teach your child good manners.

The sooner you start the learning process, the sooner the child will begin to delight you at a party and surprise those around him with his gallantry and ability to behave.

Table manners:

• Wash your hands before sitting down at the table.
• Young family members are always seated at the table. The child should sit on a special children's chair and feel equal to everyone else.
• You can't leave your elbows on the table.
• You can't talk at the table with your mouth full.
• Belching and coughing should be controlled.
• Ask to pass the dishes at the other end of the table rather than reaching for it yourself.
• Be sure to thank the hostess for the delicious dinner.
• The child must ask permission before leaving the table, or wait until everyone has eaten and left.
• Don't let children talk with their mouths full.

Eating according to all the rules of etiquette

• Use special devices. Each dish has its own.
• Do not pick up a fallen plug, but ask that the appliance be replaced.
• Sit at a table with your back straight. When you eat, you are allowed to tilt your body forward a little for convenience.
• Do not spread the pate on the bread; it is eaten separately.
• During a meal, hands should not touch the table.
• It is correct to take the first courses, scooping them with a spoon away from you.
• First, the liquid is eaten from the soup, and then the meatballs and other thick stuff are dealt with.
• Do not cool the dish: do not blow on it or stir with a spoon. Wait.
• It is customary to drink champagne immediately, before meals.
• Drink liquids in small sips.
• Soup or broth served in a cup should be drunk over the top. A spoon is used to scoop out large particles of grounds.
• You can only eat crayfish, chicken tobacco and asparagus with your hands. For other dishes, use cutlery. A container of water and a napkin are needed to rinse your fingers.
• Fruits are cut and eaten with a fork.
• It is customary to stir tea silently so as not to distract guests from the meal with sound.
• Preparing a sandwich: the bread should be on a platter during the procedure. Spread the butter with a knife, holding the piece with a fork. Top with cheese or ham. After this, separate portions and eat.
• When you finish eating, touch your lips with a napkin.

Rules of etiquette are general norms of behavior at the table that should be followed. Remember them, practice eating according to all the rules.

This will make you feel confident at any event.

Important! Whatever happens during the feast - you cough, a piece of meat falls off your fork, or spills wine on yourself - don’t worry.

It happens to everyone. Act confidently, as if it was planned this way. Confident appearance- the key to the success of any event.

Smile, communicate, eat food. Be natural and relaxed.

Useful video

Having become familiar with the rules of etiquette at the table, you will always feel in your place during meals, not only at a party, but also at business practices and in the restaurant. The key to success will be your confidence and knowledge. Without further ado, we all know that ethical behavior at the table is essential:

1. Don’t be late when invited to lunch, breakfast, dinner, tea.
2. Do not sit down at the table until the ladies are seated or until the host or hostess invites you to take a seat.
3. Do not offer your left hand to a lady when you accompany her to the table. A man should always offer his right hand to a lady.

Today it is very important to know the rules of behavior at the table. This is one of the necessary branches of knowledge that helps us behave correctly in any situation, because eating is our daily procedure.

The extent to which a person knows the rules of behavior at the table (etiquette) shows the level of his upbringing and can say a lot about him. With this knowledge we make ourselves pleasant to talk to and show ourselves to have good manners. This can be either a dinner in a close family circle, where the rules of etiquette are often not particularly observed, or a meal with colleagues or on a date.

A modern person must follow several standard rules. We are talking about ordinary technical points, observing which we show ourselves in the best light. Here are a few such rules.

Conversation

An important part of etiquette is conversation. Rules of conduct at the table during a conversation also exist, and we are usually familiar with them since childhood.

1. When someone approaches you at the table with a toast, it is correct to lift the glass from the table and hold it in the air until the toaster finishes. This is usually followed by “clinking” glasses, and all those dining take a sip from the glasses. By the way, you need to look directly into the eyes of the person whose glass you are bringing yours to. In some countries, such as Germany, looking away is considered rude.
2. Don't stuff your mouth when you want to address someone or when someone is talking to you. Do not chew when chewing.

Manners

It is important to know how to sit at the table, how to behave during a social event or an informal meeting. In principle, it can be noted that the rules of behavior at the table (etiquette) are no different in both cases. It’s just that some of them are not so strict to implement at informal meetings.

1. Don't slouch at the table or rest your elbows on it. It would be correct to rest only your wrists on the table or even place your hands on your knees, while pressing your elbows towards you. However, a woman is allowed to lean on the table with one elbow for a short time. The legs should be straight; stretching them out is also considered unsightly.
2. At events with many guests, dishes must be passed through those sitting next to them. And this is done counterclockwise. That is, you shouldn’t stand across the table to get the salad you want, for example. Just ask other guests to pass it to you.
3. The host of the evening or dinner begins to eat first.

Napkin

There are separate table manners regarding napkins.

These are simple actions that will demonstrate your knowledge of etiquette.

1. The napkin should be on your lap. The host of the event takes his napkin first. At the same time, do not make unnecessary sudden movements - shaking or waving; calmly and silently unfold your napkin.
2. Do not tuck the napkin into your collar or belt, or try to fit it somewhere above your knees.
3. It is customary to wipe your lips with a napkin before drinking from a glass, as traces of lipstick or fatty foods may remain on it.
4. If you need to leave the table, leave a napkin on your chair.
5. When the meal is finished, it is customary to place the napkin to the left of the plate. A napkin that has fallen on the floor should be replaced with a new one by asking the waiter about it.

Cutlery and other items on the table

Of course, an important part of etiquette is the table manners regarding cutlery.

1. We hold the fork in the right hand and the knife in the left. Golden rule. For a left-hander, it's exactly the opposite. When pausing to talk, place your cutlery on the plate so that they are completely placed on it.
2. If you are simply interrupting your meal, fold your cutlery crosswise on your plate; if you are finished with this dish, stack the cutlery horizontally, parallel to each other, so that the handles face diagonally at 10 o'clock (when compared to a watch dial).
3. If a lot of different cutlery is served on the table, and you don’t know whether it’s a dessert spoon or a soup spoon, for example, then there is one hint: the cutlery is always in the order in which the dishes will be served. That is, the first device from the plate is used first, and so on - until the last one.

Table manners: how to eat?

1. Do not finish the dish completely without leaving a trace of it. Leave decorative elements on the plate.
2. All dishes served in restaurants are eaten using cutlery. Special, exotic dishes that you may have eaten with your hands at home should also be eaten with utensils that will be served specifically for them.
3. Before asking for a salt or pepper shaker, you need to taste the dish. Even if you know for sure that it will be undersalted. The demonstration of such “foresights” also indicates a lack of taste and an attempt to upset the hostess by doubting her skill.
4. The bread should be broken off with your hands without biting. You should also not dip pieces of bread into a sauce or hot dish.
5. The rules of table manners say the following: if bread and butter are served with a dish, you need to break the bread into small pieces so that you can eat it in one or two bites, and only then spread butter on each piece.
6. It is customary to remove bones, cartilage or other inedible elements of a dish from your mouth using a fork: bring it to your mouth and help yourself with your lips and tongue, then place it on the edge of your plate. Of course, it would be better to do this as quietly as possible. It could be an olive pit or a fish pit.
7. The sauce for the dish is usually served with a special spoon. You need to take such a spoon and place the sauce on the edge of the plate. Don’t even think about dipping food directly into a communal saucepan or pouring sauce all over your dish. Sometimes a gravy boat can be served with a spout and without a spoon. In this case, look at the consistency of the sauce, if it is liquid and served with meat, then pour it over the meat. If it is of normal thickness, place it on the edge of the plate.

It is also important to explain table manners to children from a young age, at least the basics: do not slurp, eat carefully and slowly, sit up straight.

Drinks

1. Don't blow on a hot drink. It's best to wait until it cools to your desired temperature.
2. Be sure to hold the cup by the handle. Don't grab it with both hands.
3. If it happens that a drink spills on a saucer, there is no need to wipe it with a napkin. In this case, you just need to ask the waiter to replace the saucer. Of course, you should not dip cookies, cakes or other sweets into your cup of hot drink.

If you want to attract attention to yourself, and you are not at all worried about your reputation, then humorous table manners will help you. In this case, you can do everything exactly the opposite. Just make sure that it is absolutely safe for you and will not affect your future life in any way. This can be done in an informal setting, let’s say you went to visit friends and, in order to show how pleased you are with this visit, nobly “munch” at the table, asserting how delicious it was for you to eat the treats.

In the end

In our article, we told you the rules of table manners briefly, but there are also more extended versions. But it is important to understand that strict adherence to all these rules is not always appropriate. And if you use them all in an informal setting, it can make you look too pompous. Good things should always be in moderation.